Maybe this will work. A little tired of sitting and staring at Facebook pages and buying crap with Paypal, all the while frustrated with what I’m doing and how I’m doing it. I feel like I’ve gained new access to my inner, angst ridden teenager.
I’m just a little hacked off at myself. I know I’m better than this. I just can’t break it. Stuck in a rut and every day slides back to the same point. Locked in front of keyboard avoiding work and sometimes my wife. Just trying to find the fun in it.
I don’t know when it became this way. I don’t feel depressed. Just frustrated. Bored. And I shouldn’t be. I have everything I ever wanted right here.
Like I said, frustrated. I just want to start tomorrow morning like it is the only day that matters. Not think about the next day, or the day before. Focus on what needs to be done, what should be done. Quit with the booze, smokes, pills to bring you up, pills to bring you down. Jesus, I’m totally legal with this crap and still feel like a fucking addict. I used to be above this. What happened?
I’ll try and start tomorrow. Maybe the internet can keep me accountable. Maybe if I can log on and see my own thoughts staring back at me I can hold myself accountable.
When did this happen?